Joke 45: Behind the fence

It's behind the fence and can't be thrown over. What is it?
An behindfencer unoverthrownable.

Joke 44: Crossbreeding

Do you know what would be the result of crossbreeding of a cow and a turtle?
A calf with a helmet.

Joke 43: Fart

Do you what fart is?
Nature's futile attempt to teach ass to sing.

Joke 42: Round and flying

It's black round and flying over a pond, what is it?
A properly kicked cat.

Joke 41: Four legged friend

Do you know what is the man's best four legged friend?
The bed.

Joke 40: Black and dangerous

It's black and it's dangerous. What is it?
A crow with a machine gun.

Joke 39: Black digger

It's black and it digs. What is it?
A mole.

Joke 38: Colorful

It's colorful but you can't see it. What is it?
Buried crayons

Joke 37: Romance

What is man's definition of romance?
Sex.

Joke 36: What is it?

You sleep on it during the night. You sit on it during the day. You brush your teeth with it in the evening. What is it?
A bed, a chair and a toothbrush.

Joke 35: Excavator

If you throw it up, it's brown. When it falls down it's an excavator.
What is it?
Kinder egg.

Joke 34: What is it?

Bush has it short. Clinton has it average. Schwarzenegger has it long. Madona doesn't have it. The Pope has it, but doesn't use it.
What is it?
The surname.

Joke 33: Just distribution

Do you know what is the most justly distributed commodity?
The intelligence. Everybody thinks they have enough.

Jokes 32: Repulsive and slimy

It's repulsive and slimy and if you step on it, a toad is out of luck. What is it?

Joke 31: Wood and meat

Lots of wood and a little of meat. What is it?
A squirrel in tree.
Lots of meat and a little of wood. What is it?
A splinter in the ass.

Jokes 30: Onion

What is the difference between a lawyer and an onion?
One cries when cutting up an onion.

Joke 29: Sand

What do you've got if you bury six lawyers to their necks in sand?
Not enough sand.

Joke 28: Mutual love

A man asks the God.
“Lord, why did you make women so beautiful?”
“So that you love her”
“Lord, why did you make her so stupid?”
“So that she loves you”

Joke 27: Sicilian insurance

Do you know the difference between an English insurance company and a Sicilian insurance company?
The English insurance company can tell you quit precisely how many people will die next year.
The Sicilian one can tell you their names.

Joke 26: Karate

A Japanese meets a German and says to him:
“I can beat you up in 5 minutes!”
They start a fight. A big bang a the German lies on the ground, all blood. The Japanese bows and says:
“This is from Japan – karate”
The Japanese meets an American and says to him:
“I can beat you up in 5 minutes!”
They start a fight. A big bang a the American lies on the ground, all blood. The Japanese bows and says:
“This is from Japan – judo”
The Japanese meets a Czech and says to him:
“You are week, I can beat you up in 2 minutes!”
They start a fight. A big bang a the Japanese lies on the ground, all blood. The Czech says:
“This is from Japan too – a hoist jack from mazda.”

Joke 25: The chain saw

Canadian lumberjacks visit their Russian colleagues. They bring the newest and the best chain saw model on the market as an present.
One of the Russians takes it to the woods to test it out. An Canadian calls after him:
“This is THE SAW, you can do 2000 cubic meters a day with it. Easy!”
The Russian comes in the evening all disappointed. Just 1700.
The Canadians are surprised and they suggest to try it again, to get used to it.
The Russian comes the next evening, worn down and all sweat - 1750, not a cubic more.
He tries another couple of days, but the best he can do is 1900.
The Canadians decide to go with him to show him the best technique. They come to the woods. One of them puts the goggles on and a big roar – he starts the saw. The Russian cries:
“What is the terrible noise!!!”

Joke 24: Alcohol contest

British, Russian and Czech want to decide whose alcohol is the strongest.
The British drinks a bottle of whiskey and they ask him how many chairs he sees.
“Three!”
“Not bad, not bad at all.”
The Russian drinks a bottle of vodka and they ask him how many chairs he sees.
“Five!”
“Very good, very good indeed.”
It's the Checks turn, he drinks a bottle of slivovice and they ask him how many chairs he sees.
“And in which row do you mean?”

Joke 23: Warming up

“Miss, could you please warm me up?”
“Sure, but the energy prices have risen!”

Joke 22: What is Love?

“What is Love?”
“It's the light of the life!”
“And what is the marriage?”
“It's the electricity bill.”