Joke 71: Notorious morose

“I never sing while working.”
“What are you, some kind of kill-joy?”
“No, diver.”

Joke 70: The vase

“Mom, do you remember the expensive vase you always worried could get broken?”
“Yes, what about it?”
“Just that you don't have to worry anymore.”

Joke 69: The cat

“George, take the cat outside! The screaming is terrible. Where is the damned animal anyway?”
“You are sitting on it, dad.”

Joke 68: Answer

“What did your father said when you told him that you are pregnant?”
“Should I omit the bad words?”
“Yes.”
“Than he said nothing.”

Joke 67: Weird man

“Look mom, the man over there is eating his soup with fork.”
“Be quiet.”
“Mom, he is drinking from flower vase.”
“Be quiet!”
“He is eating his tie!”
“Give him his glasses back and shut up!!!”

Joke 66: Good news

A man announces to his colleagues at work: “My Jenny is getting married next week.”
“And who is the lucky one?”
“Me and my wife.”

Joke 65: Surprise!!!

Little Tommy says to his mother.
“Mom, I have a surprise for you!”
“Really Tommy, what is it?”
“I swallowed a nail!”